If a woman walking alone
in a forest
experiences transfiguration,
and Grace pours through
every fiber of her being,
does she radiate Light?
Aw, geez!
There I go again!
Me and my non sequiturs.
Does part of me really
believe that beings
experience transfiguration
:
:
:
alone?
* * * * *
Each body you see
is the emanation of Holiness.
The question is:
do you think in terms of emanations?
Or of Holiness?
* * * * *
Part of the reason
I write so crazily
sometimes is that
I’m recovering, slowly,
from the long held
belief that one day,
just like that itty bitty
teentsy weentsy
wire
in an incandescent light bulb,
I would burn out
for good.
You wouldn’t believe
how much that hurt.
Don’t even go there
with that one to ten
pain scale thing.
This is
stalks you on the freeway
bangs on your skull all night
presses your very cells
to the point of rupture
torment.
We call it normalcy.
It looks like normalcy,
but it’s a crushing
debilitating
madness.
After a late night
rescue operation
involving
gambits of Silence
and beings whose
devotion is so complete
they can laugh
while they work,
I now know:
I never existed, anyway.
I’m just real.
That’s all.
So now it looks like madness,
but…
it’s quite freeing.
And it’s completely safe,
I assure you.
* * * * *
When a feeling
comes along
the size and shape
of a doorway,
step through it.
When you get
on the other side,
relax, and
act like you’ve
been invited.
Because you have been.
* * * * *
Some people can whistle
like hell cats.
I’m not one of those people.
But after years of practice
I can sustain a good feeling
for an entire breath.
There’s so many things
you can do I don’t
know how anyone chooses.
Embracing Forever 
This post is a mind warp, but maybe that’s the idea? Get out of our minds and enter the realm of feelings, heart and mystic ponderings.
LikeLike
Mind warp is probably a good description. Entering the realm of feelings, and of the heart, feels critical to me. I’ve been encouraging my mind to give me a little leeway to see where this goes…
Michael
LikeLike
I understand the concept,but don’t seem to know how to navigate from heart & feelings, so I get lost in analysis.
LikeLike
I have wallowed in the quicksand of analysis many a day. It is such a paralyzing state, or can be. I think when our minds are out of alignment with our hearts, everything we see and perceive is off kilter, and analysis is reduced to a tail-chasing exercise. I have learned to trust that my mind is not a good assessor of “what is”. Only the heart can tell me what is real, and once that is established, the logic flows beautifully.
This thing about navigation… I think for myself it is slowly clearing up as I allow myself to realize there’s nowhere I need to arrive, no accomplishment that will make me more me. I need lots of reminders, but when it changes from navigation to exploration, it has a different tone.
I also think you’re doing far better than you suspect. We all are. A confused mind is like an opaque overlay on the heart, and when it is removed or purified, we realize we have never not been in our heart.
Michael
LikeLike
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback Michael. 🙂
LikeLike
“There’s so many things
you can do I don’t
know how anyone chooses.”
Me neither.
I used to tell my sister that I didn’t know what I wanted and couldn’t imagine how others could “want” and be so specific. She would look at me oddly and say, “well I do.” Those were strange times, indeed. Strange only because I thought normalcy meant knowing such things and being very specific about your desires, so therefore I wasn’t normal.
Now days, I invite all the desires and wants who find me in anytime they come knocking. They’re guests really and can make great company. To abandon them by seeking to acquire a sense of fulfillment is to be rid of them and that is another type of loneliness. I’d rather keep them around.
As for doing, sometimes breathing is enough, or like tonight, a good night’s sleep.
LikeLike
Lovely thoughts, Debra. There was absolutely a time when the pressure I felt to know what I wanted to be and do was the cause of much unnecessary worry and confusion. How could it possibly be the case that we find our way to precisely where we ought to go, if we don’t make some conscious effort at it? Clearly this type of thing enhances the probability of success in particular areas, but when faced with such a vast array of choices, how to narrow the field? What if I’m uncertain, and waste all that time and effort?
I don’t feel as driven to “accomplish” as I once did, and that feels like a good thing, like I can actually experience what is going on instead of seeking to understand how I might patrol the now in order to find the best way to vault things forward. I like your description of doing- of breathing being enough. When I feel at peace, the feeling alone is enough.
And yet I do have desire, the desire to dwell in Love and share it, to witness the return of Wholeness to every moment and encounter. Good thing breathing is enough…
Michael
LikeLike
Hi Michael,
You make a good point- that there is perhaps a natural tension between looking ahead and planning vs. letting it all happen. Although I like to anticipate what comes next, I am sometimes amazed by how well my life has gone in spite of not always knowing what I want.
After writing my comment to you I remembered an observation of mine from years ago, that desire is relentless, meaning, no matter where we are and what we have or accomplish, there’s still desire.
Not that it’s a bad thing, but that the expectation of being satisfied through accomplishments can trick us into a sense of dissatisfaction, if we let it.
It took me many years to appreciate that chocolate tastes so good as much because of the times that you are not eating it than because of when you are eating it.
Here’s to desire, and having enough!
Debra
LikeLike
“the expectation of being satisfied through accomplishments can trick us into a sense of dissatisfaction”
Beautifully said. Thank you…
Michael
LikeLike