“I feel better. But I did that thing again, didn’t I, Hafiz?”
“Yes.”
“How come we both know what I’m talking about, but we can’t explain it?”
“The horses giving chase always get mud in their eyes.”
“That was easier than I thought. But giving chase to what?”
“To whatever you think is over there.” He waved his hand limply towards the distance, indicating that somewhere along the periphery of my mind there were these mysterious places that harbored fantasies of ambrosia and orchards full of flowers and fruit, but that if we actually went over there all we’d find would be these tumbleweeds and heaps of dust sprinkled with little plastic beads.
“I was happy, you know, munching on whatever it is that grows along the rail, in the infield.”
“And then you saw thirteen stallions whip past like a thundering colossus.”
“Yes. They were incredible.”
“And then you did that thing again.”
“Yes.”
“You chased after them.”
“Of course.”
“Your eyes filled with mud.”
“Yes.”
“That was a very good thing was it not?”
“I don’t think so, no.”
“Why is that?”
“I could not see a thing, and my eyes burned like they had been put in an oven to cure. And I hurt all over. And then the thundering colossus pulled away, and I was alone once again, only blinded temporarily for my trouble.”
“And?”
“And?”
“There’s another thing. There’s the thing you do, but it always leads to another thing.”
“?”
“Eventually all you have left is your heart.”
“Right. Otherwise I wouldn’t be feeling better now. Eventually I fall back into my own breath, and I forget about the thirteen stallions altogether, and I am just what is left, just this tiny seed of peace. It is very relaxing. You wouldn’t think a tiny seed of peace could breathe so deeply.”
“But not tiny.”
“Not tiny?”
“If you get too tiny, we’ll have to do this all over again.”
“We will? Why?”
“Because you are no more tiny than you are colossal.”
“Well I can see I’m not colossal.”
“You’re just right.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you’re identical to the stallions, even though you can’t hardly run once around the track without hemorrhaging and blowing apart.”
“I’m not a great runner.”
“No.”
“But I’m identical to the great runners.”
“Yes.”
“So we’re not horses at all then, are we?”
“No.”
“We just look like them?”
“Of course. Everything about you is precisely horse-like, except you yourself.”
“That’s what you mean by just right.”
“Yes.”
“I already felt better, but now I feel even more better, Hafiz. Can we stop here for the day?”
“You feel just right you mean.”
“Yes.”
“Of course.”
Embracing Forever 
I’m a bit confused, but I trust you and Hafiz to work it out. And I’m grateful for those tiny seeds of peace. to tiny seeds of peace growing wild forests of love….
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Hi Brad,
Confused is good, too. 🙂 From the tiniest seeds arise the most majestic of trees, no?
http://www.kahncious.net/discover/sequoias.htm
All around us are the symbols we require… the reminders that whisper to us softly of what has always been and yet is still becoming.
Peace
Michael
PS – the moral of this story is that every stage and every color and every shade of confusion resolves to a single presence… 🙂
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Thanks Michael. I hope to experience the confusion resolving into a single presence. 🙂
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Hard to write this because I have mud in my eyes,… or are those tears?
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You always see so clearly, Dennis. I had a line in there about the mud being tears and removed it, but you obviously read it anyway! Ha! The heart knows what the heart knows…
Peace
Michael
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Brothers across the miles and metaphors! Peace ~Dennis
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I like this, Michael, coded all along, but decipherable once in the saddle.
* quietly “munching on whatever”*
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Lovely, Hariod. It is nice to be munching on whatever, from time to time, no? Quietly, of course.
Of course.
M
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i’m grateful to have been
along for the ride, Michael!
at times i still chase my tail
and after i’ve chewed off
all the fleas in the playground
i sleep,
scratch-free 🙂
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We go on some wild rides, it is true. You know what this piece is all about then, David, and how we come back to the start, only to find it more beautiful than ever…
Scratch free.
Peace
Michael
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“You’re just right.” Or feel such. Contentedness; a satisfying state.
The chase… the elusive chase. Often that grass is not greener yonder. Yet we yearn. Though some wise, yearn not.
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It is true, Eric, that some wise, yearn not. Somehow the aspiration to acquire such wisdom engenders moments of folly, while forsaking the need for what can be acquired invites it in for good… 🙂
Peace, my friend!
Michael
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This is one of my favorite conversations!! Such incredible mastery of the time and place that we seem to be searching for something that already exists…inside us…IS US!! Thanks for the journey…thanks for the understanding…and thanks for the light your soul shines in the world. Never afraid to show your vulnerability, you offer us chances for our own realization. Just love the relationship between you and Hafiz…its the rare kind…the kind where words are not necessary…but I am glad they are there so I can vicariously chase the stallions with you ❤
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Thank you, Lorrie! It has been an interesting chase, and nice to eventually catch up with and graze beside those stallions, drinking the living waters every being requires in equal measure… The ways we are the same are all invisible, and the ways we are different all visible. It is interesting how much is made plain when our focus is placed upon the content, the invisible, the familiar…
Peace and Love my friend!
Say hi to the Draglioni for me!
Michael
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♡ Have a beautiful day, Michael! Yes…I think we may need GOGGLES to see it more clearly 😉
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Yes , dear Lorrie , I just saw your beautiful Draglioni too ….
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The stallions really do stir up the mud. Glad it settled and you found the seed of peace. 💛
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Thank you, Val. They were just doing their thing, right!? It was only my chasing after that was momentarily out of place. If I could run that fast, I’d insist on running, too! I wouldn’t be able to help it. Ha! Peace seems to involve this sublime acceptance of ourselves exactly as we are.
Peace
Michael
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… It is has been my truth and the way to giving myself a break and laughing with life instead of trying to figure it out or thinking about how to control it so I get to where I think I should be.
Peace 🙏
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Another great post Michael. My favourite line this time is “Everything about you is precisely horse-like, except you yourself.” What a brilliant way of conveying the essence of our being: we’re everything and nothing at the same time. Thank you. Don
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Thank you, Don. Glad you enjoyed it, and yes there is something beautiful about the way in which we are neither/both/and… We can’t be pinned down, and yet we are right here.
Peace my friend!
Michael
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But to never chase would be never to know that sting of mud or the peace that comes after… perhaps it is to know the chase for what it is..everything and nothing. A great contemplation Michael.
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Hi Rajani,
I can see your perspective and I think it makes perfect sense, depending on the type of chase. If it is the heartfelt chase– the pure joy of running– it is a beautiful everything and nothing. But if it is chasing after an idea of who we are, or an outcome we hope to achieve or attain, it can whittle us down, until we are truly breathless. And it is in this latter sense that I was experiencing the chase before spending time on this piece. It does seem to be part of the human journey– to yo yo into and out of states of fullness and completion– but I also think we can run for the pure joy of running, without chasing after our “selves”, that is this sublime, creative experience of giving birth to all that we are…
Thank you for the thoughtful comment.
Blessings
Michael
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Thanks so much Michael. I understand what you mean. To know that we are everything that we can possibly be is an inward process perhaps or even a joyful chase. I can see you are far ahead in that journey….
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Simple, and yet so enormously profound, Michael. Let you always listen to your heart whether you chase thirteen glorious stallions or fly with seven soaring eagles, or climb grass stalks with three million ants; let your heart speak loudly, let you follow your dreams whatever they may be, painting the stallions or bringing them water, or doing nothing at all. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Much Love from the world that is Just Right for the seeds of Peace to grow,
Kristina
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Thank you for that wonderful response, Kristina! I wish the very same for you. It is interesting when we discover the stallions admire the ponies, and the ponies the stallions, and the eagles the flowers, and the flowers the butterflies, and the butterflies the humans, and the humans the sky, and the sky the particles of the sun that tickle it, and the particles of sun that tickle it the dashing horses down below…
Gratitude for your presence here, Kristina!
Peace
Michael
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is there a reason that one needs hafiz? and his approval? i think not. “if you see the buddha kill him.” you are sufficient unto yourself a teacher is a crutch. learn from a teacher and then release yourself into who you are without the baggage of identity to a famous personage.
signed,
Hafiz
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Hi Crystal,
Thank you for this note. I have thought on several occasions about my use of this name Hafiz, and despite some initial trepidation decided to stick to the feeling of joy I have when I write with this character in mind. I think of him as a facet of my own heart– a part of the grand totality that holds us all– peeking through me. I don’t make any special claim that this is the historical Hafiz, or that this makes me special or anything. It is just in good fun, and I find it helpful at times to have this character I can invoke in my writing– as a voice or a foil character emerging from within me– who is both wise and playful, who can see through my shortfalls and wanderings, and who never leaves my side. So I don’t really see it as a crutch. But I thank you for your feedback.
Peace
Michael
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Oh I’m always chasing after the wild stallions! I would love to stop more often. My hips and knees hurt. I’d like to stop long enough for them to stop hurting, but those darn stallions whip by again and they’re so enticing. I know what I’m doing. Some times now I even say oh it’s just those wild stallions again. I know where that leads. I think I’ll stay just where I am. Here. Now. More and more hopefully.
Love,
Alison
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Hi Alison,
The accumulation of aches and pains is an interesting aspect of our live I think. That’s where some would say there’s a physiological limit to our horse-chasing! Ha! I certainly pick my chases a little more judiciously than I once did! There’s a way that wisdom emerges from listening to those little aches I think– maybe they are keeping us here and now!? I imagine you carrying them lightly in the moment, smiling to all these parts of yourself that require a nurturing presence. May they dissolve into the light of your being!
Peace
Michael
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Thanks for the reminder re nurturing! I need to do more of that. My wild stallions are as often internal as external, more maybe, but the distress shows up physically because I’m not feeling it.
A.
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This all makes me think of the Goldilocks planet, how we are looking for a place, “just right,” just like us. Sometimes we just forget for a minute and then get back on one of those stallions. Because moving and being still are also very much alike, such as the big and small: really, the same thing. Enlightening post, Michael! ❤
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Thank you, Ka!
Yes to all of this… Moving and being still can be finely tuned, so as to blend into something altogether mysterious and satisfying, which often causes us to wonder how we did that! Then we break them apart again and try to re-enact it consciously, and wind up with mud in our nostrils! Ha!
Peace and Love
Michael
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Well said… ❤
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I sure do get distracted by those horses, which leads to something else, which leads to something else. And though I do enjoy all of them, the mud does burn and eventually all that’s left is the heart, as you said, and this tiny seed of peace. ” You wouldn’t think a tiny seed of peace could breathe so deeply.” I love that, that it breathes so deeply. And yes, we are all “just right,” but you, my friend are soooo just right. 🙂
And like Lorrie said, maybe we need some Goggles to protect ourselves from the mud that inevitable gets our eyes, so we can see better.
Blessings, love and a tiny seed of peace…..and goggles
Mary
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Mary, I’m also thinking of flippers, just because… because….
🙂 They help us swim!!! 🙂
❤
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Yes Ka! Just keep swimming! Have you seen Finding Dory yet? It’s so good!
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Yes, I saw it, “Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming.” 🙂
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Hi Mary,
Yes the horses are glorious for sure! It is only when we try to swap glories with them that we get into trouble I think. It’s when we assume they have the “right” glory, and we must be missing something… Goggles never hurt on the track! 🙂 You are right about that. All the good horse jockeys wear them!
Much Love
Michael
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It is a nice place to be, to stop and be fine in the moment, even if we have to hose ourselves down or dust ourselves off. And then we get to reflect on how we got here, how we cultivated our path and then share the experience and then connect with what is around us now.
Giddy up!
Harlon
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Indeed, my friend. So many days as a boy ended up with a dusting off and a hosing down, or a jump into the lake! (Or the tiny seed of a lake called a bath…) It’s good to keep hold of that spontaneity and abandon– (I read about your jump in the lake once, didn’t I!?)– and douse ourselves in mud once in a while, even if it’s all we can do in the moment. Just doing that brings us around the bend, where we can do exactly as you say and connect once again with all that is right here, right now…
Peace, my friend!
Michael
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I feel even more better when Hafiz is around. Maybe I will look for him next time the horses run by, or else I will look for him when I’m out of breath from chasing them.
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Hi JoAnna,
I see now I missed this comment… My apologies! Yes, look for Hafiz when you are out of breath from chasing them. He will tap you on your shoulder and ask if you would like a Gator Aid, and then tell you something about yourself, just by the way he managed to be there when you got tired of running, that was beautiful before you started chasing the horses, while you were chasing the horses, and that remains beautiful even now. Something about your heart, I think…
Peace!
Michael
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I always think of the horses giving chase, running down the track to win the prize, although perhaps no prize for them and if I were the horse, i’d jump the center rail and stand in the middle eating grass watching the rest of the herd run by…..I’m a sideline horse by nature, the only thing worth winning is peace and happiness…who needs a triple crown and mud in the eyes? Great post, sorry to wait so long to respond, was in the grass grazing and lost track of time daydreaming of grain and oats waiting at the stall but was in no rush to be cooped up indoors 🙂
Peace and Neigh,
K
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“The only thing worth winning is peace and happiness…” Yes, indeed, Kim! Are we on the right track!? Ha!
Just being the people we are seems to be the key. But of course, we’re a little mysterious so there’s no exact recipe for doing this. I’m finding it doesn’t matter so much what it is, so long as we avoid those nasty comparisons and judgments, and following our heart’s course. I’m learning about this as I go… 🙂
Peace
Michael
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Hi Michael,
Of course we’re on the right track, until we aren’t, then we’re in the middle daydreaming of an oasis of peace and bliss. We are all learning and I often wonder if when we are all full of everything we could learn, do we then end and begin again….if we choose of course…..I am gathering lessons like a squirrel gathers nuts….no wonder they’re manic little things…..gotta find more, gotta fill up the store, the universal door…..😊🐿 such fun to be had….perhaps I have my own inner Hafiz…..I just haven’t given him a name….I shall work on that I think….😊
Peace and love my friend,
Kim
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Oh yes, you have your own inner Hafiz, my friend. That is a joy spared no one! The names of course, are not entirely relevant, so much as the truths they encourage us to discover in our own being. Have fun in the discovery of it all! Our lives do teach us a thing or two, if we’re listening, and then we graduate one day… into the flowering awareness of all we have been given…
Peace
Michael
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