Two, three—call it four decades on, and I’m both better and worse. I’ve settled into it in the way that precedes disappearance, as if I was placed in the back of an otherwise empty cabinet, sheltered by the presence of wood, where I’ve become a study in knowing something more that you can only glimpse in the repair of oily machinery, or the bailing of water from a low spot on the land where two surveyors […]
This last week an asteroid passed through my solar plexus, and I wobbled a little back and forth like a transplanted tree testing its new roots. I swallowed the asteroid whole, and mostly because I had a bet with Hafiz, I didn’t spit it out. I asked him if a star would grow inside of me now and blow me up from the inside out because I swallowed an asteroid through my solar plexus, and […]
Power is a word that evokes a strange spectrum of thought forms and connotations, reactions and prejudices. I think this is largely because the power we are most familiar with is the type that involves a victim and an oppressor. We view power as the ability to cause events to occur despite the competing will of another. That is our definition of power– a definition that makes perfect sense in the minds of the separate […]
Something is happening but I can’t see what it is, because the day sky is an impenetrable scattering of color, and the night sky is too deep to see the bottom. The moon isn’t a reliable reference either, because it’s just one point, and clearly an outlier. You can’t leverage it at all. Though the particulars are being worked out, I still take comfort in this vague arrival– in its presence– whatever it is. I […]
In the inky darkness of the void, beneath a tender moon, a door cracks open, and perfect quiet spills out to form a shadow… A moth appears– wings a-flicker from the very first, as if it has been curiously darting to and fro for quite some time, and the door has appeared of its own volition. To be polite. To show the way. The weaving gray feather is hardly more than a tickle upon an […]
Hafiz and I on a bench, basking in a rosy sunset. Falcons gathering on the limbs overhead– some Merlins, some Sooties, a Grey– all of them edging awkwardly close, coalescing into an artillery of vision. The theater is full. A door opens like an out-sized black pixel on the face of the sun– a cuckoo-clock pronouncement– and brilliant birds of flame fly out to swoop across our sky like smoke rings blown by the sun’s innermost […]
Staggering through the dim light of Heaven’s front yard, slinking into the greenish shadows of distant outdoor halogens as if to hide forever, and ranting silently about the burden of makeshift woes and ramshackle postulates with which I’d saddled myself– including my favorite one about the pending arrival of something hellish but indeterminate in nature that no being should ever have to face– why wouldn’t I accept the cocktail napkin and the nice sandwich offered to me […]
A cardboard tube can make all the difference, and I’ll tell you how. Walking through a flavor of solitude in which I find myself sometimes, covering my face to ward off the trace of distant putrefaction, and squinting into the heat to see if my suspicion is correct about the horizon stockpiling behind its dusty curvature all the sad carcasses not fortunate enough to receive a proper burial– I’m wheezing in the fumes of my […]
What I told Hafiz when I opened the bedroom door and entered the main living area after my daily five or so minutes of high-intensity, mid-morning meditation on the illumined heart of being, was that I was finally prepared to commit myself to crossing the Sea of Meaninglessness– to enduring the winds of fate, the firecracker heavens, and whatever battering-about goes on out there– to gritting my teeth at the sight of hungry kraken and […]
You will never find water that isn’t in cahoots with all the other water. Even the last drop of a dried-up lake has the idea of the sea inside of it. A buffalo laps it up. Now what… What I mean is that when you’re quiet, dissolving into the sky is a completely natural thing to do. You could pop back out anywhere, coalesce out of nothing, find yourself in an active hygroscopic nebula, and […]
Embracing Forever 