All posts tagged: Doubt

Every Step of the Way…

comments 38
Creative

This post is part of the Time Machine Blogging Challenge hosted by Linda Litebeing… When I reflect on my life, the realization that emerges is that I’ve been guided in ways both more subtle and far-reaching than I would have imagined were possible in the moments when I was grappling around within the question of it.  That’s not to say my past isn’t peppered with opportunities to have lived differently.  There’s a business or two that didn’t […]

Heaven’s Front Yard

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Christ / Poetry

Staggering through the dim light of Heaven’s front yard, slinking into the greenish shadows of distant outdoor halogens as if to hide forever, and ranting silently about the burden of makeshift woes and ramshackle postulates with which I’d saddled myself– including my favorite one about the  pending arrival of something hellish but indeterminate in nature that no being should ever have to face– why wouldn’t I accept the cocktail napkin and the nice sandwich offered to me […]

The Next One

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Course Ideas / Poetry

Hafiz came along and asked what I was doing up there in that tree with soot all over my face and my hair in greasy knots, my feet scratched, blistered and bleeding, my wick burned down to the sputtering last, my eyes wild and leering, and talking to myself in curses and run-ons about trying one last time to impregnate the sky with the signal flare seed of the holy calvary I required. The snarling, yipping […]

Disarmament (Part 1 of the Rest)

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Christ / Fiction

Well, I couldn’t squish this into a single post…  I promise it won’t be too many.  Welcome to my short foray into serial fiction… * * * * * It was just a small apartment.  I don’t know what I had really expected, but not something so patently vacant.  It would end here?  There was a dinged up coffee table, a faded olive sofa that didn’t match the carpet, a landslide of unsorted mail on […]

Ditching Progress

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Course Ideas

The sleek apparatus we call progress has failed us.  The signs are all around, if we but dare heed them.  I’m very clear, for instance, that the curdling of country lanes into frost-heaved mogul courses should be a bygone phenomenon.  You shouldn’t be forced to drink the day’s first cup of coffee while your kidneys are undergoing paratrooper training.  Similarly, had progress been successful, tests of the Emergency Broadcast System would have been moot by […]

Relinquishing Difficulty

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Christ / Course Ideas

Recent events in my life served the function of popping the vacuum sealed lid of a small glass jar of fear I had been carrying around in my coat pocket.  I smacked dab into some real world events—moments of indeterminate outcome surrounded by a steadily gathering mob of foreboding consequences—and you could hear the audible inrush of air as the jar was pried open.  Out spilled vestiges of a future I had sworn to abandon, […]

Ode to a Quaggy Mire

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Poetry

I’ve done it now. I’ve stepped into It. It’s gotten all over my shoe and It’s made walking a squishy awkward. Also, a certain quantity of the material ended up in dollops on the rug in the front hall, like a band of slugs that woke up and had no idea where they were. Too stunned to move. Just laying there like a constellation of invertebrates collectively embodying a deeper meaning. Like tea leaves. They must […]

Moulting

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Christ / Course Ideas

The process of shifting identity from the false perceptions of the ego to the valid identity we all share in Christ appears, at least for me, to involve passage through states that closely resemble one or more of the following: a flock of large metal plates approaching both the speed of sound and the US Naval Artillery Rail Gun Test Range; a repeating dream in which you hike up the side of a mountain to […]

Call Center

comments 15
Poetry

One night when Hafiz was working the phones, a call came in. The man began by announcing that he had a few questions, as if he were preparing his counter party for a barrage of heavy artillery. The way he said it made it sound like he had a few answers, too. Look, he said, you can’t really know if there is anything beyond this life or not, but consider: if there isn’t a God, […]

Sky Healing

comments 17
Christ / Poetry

There’s a poverty I sometimes settle into, a clawing for connection. It’s a painful question that picks me out of the world’s line-up of chiefs and princetains, captains and raconteurs, the divas and the daring, and squares me up for examination. Him. He’s hiding something for sure– a limp of some sort, a wound that hasn’t healed, one eye that betrays him with its flickering tic, a slow, creeping failing he strives to ignore. Protectiveness […]