After a day of you gotta’ be kiddin’ me and please listen to the following menu of options before making your selection, I sat on the couch with one knee up– one arm dangling off it like I could give a damn– and eyeballed the Flyers in a must win game. I eventually slid down the hill of one day I’m gonna’ teach this world a lesson and drifted off to sleep, only to find myself in a dream that was your basic underground roller derby of lion-maned enthusiasts with elbow pads the size of mattresses, staged in the basement of an apartment building being rigged for demolition by former members of the KGB.
The enthusiasts in their Greco-Roman skating outfits were flailing around the short-timer concrete columns and tossing me around like a rag doll. They formed up into some kind of slingshot move that launched me into a turn at speeds well above the posted limit when I awoke to discover Hafiz had pulled the sofa into the middle of the room, and was marching around it with my neighbor’s kindergarten class fanned out all around, all of ‘em blowing like mad into their kazoos and smiling like it was nineteen ninety nine.
[Cue the video for the full effect.]
It dawned on me that I was in the midst of an honest-to-goodness Walls of Jericho reenactment.
What’s happening, Hafiz!?
We’re going to tear down those walls, he replied. I had to read his lips to garner this information because my relocated speakers were on the verge of shaking apart. He pointed at his head and winked. I turned to take in the full room and was caught in the eyes of a young girl, very quick on the uptake, who pointed to her own head, and winked. I was being rescued by a troupe of joyous prodigies. Prodigies of joy.
I turned back to Hafiz. You would do that for me?
He rolled his eyes and gave some kind of pre-arranged signal, because suddenly they were all doing some kind of stomp-stomp clap-clap waddle-waddle in a procession around the room, hips and elbows flyin’. Most of their eyes barely cleared the coffee table.
Hafiz leaned in so he wouldn’t have to yell. It’s our mind trapped in there, too, you know.
Yeah! the children yelled. And we’re bustin’ it out!
Then he began to pass out the sauce pans and the wooden spoons.