The Heart’s Proximity

comments 5
Christ / Creative

I can remember my Heart.  It was not a blood-pumping battery of striated, biochemical filaments.  It was a star.  I can remember it was all I ever had- all I ever knew or needed.  It was not the kind of star that you see in the heavens that burn so hot all forms dissolve in their embrace.  It was the kind of star you could hold in the palm of your hand, and watch its cool white glow, and see the gentle pulsing of its breathing.

It was the kind of star that could take you anywhere.

I could enter my Heart and come out deep in the ocean, drifting alongside a pod of blue whales.  I could enter my Heart and come out high in the limbs of a redwood tree, surrounded by cool breeze and the night calls of owls.  I could enter my Heart and come out on the prairie, standing still in high grass, watching in the distance as a train crept along in a steady procession of blackened steel.  I could enter my Heart and come out inside of you… as you could in me.

* * * * *

I think we have the same Heart.

I think It’s a portal system that connects everything together, that makes every distant point a hair’s width away, like the two sides of coin.  When we step into our Heart, if you spin around and look behind you, and I spin around me and look behind me, we’d probably be seeing one another.  I don’t see how anything could exist, or be alive, and not be connected to our Heart.

* * * * *

Something happened, anyway, and I have not gotten fully back inside our Heart for quite some time.  It’s like we’re together, but we’re not.  It’s like I went somewhere and I can’t quite find my way back to It, but at the same time I can never be without It.  I know our Heart is out there, because I can still feel it, but I’m all full of effort now, and specifics, and ideas by which it won’t abide.  I never had those things before.  Lately I can’t shake ’em loose.

I followed the trail to this great forest, and I know our Heart is tucked away inside of it somewhere, waiting for me, and me it.  We’re going to join back up with Everything.  I think Everything that is, is waiting for me to get back to it, because I’ve been strangely absent.  But I’ve been stuck in this forest for as long as I can remember.

The forest is strange.  It’s full of weeds and thick branches, walls of thicket and vine.  It’s hard to move around in it.  Someone told me once what all those were.  He said they were thoughts and feelings I had covered over my Heart- things I had tried to make true that weren’t, and so my Heart could’t hold ’em.  He said I had made this forest by thinking and believing I was something I wasn’t.

* * * * *

At first I wanted to break that Man in half, but now I see it’s true.  He’s a good Man.  Today I asked Him to come back and help me see straight again.  Straight through this crazy forest.  He told me He would help anytime.

First thing He asked me to do was give Him my axe.  I said we’d need it to get through the trees and vines.  We couldn’t hardly walk ten feet without it.  He just asked me to give Him that axe, and finally I did.

Then He asked for my map.  I didn’t know how He knew I had a map, but anyway, that map had everything I ever learned stalking through this forest for the past umpty-ump years, and I was determined that it wasn’t going, too.  I told Him that.  He told me the map was wrong, and that it wasn’t my fault.  He told me I couldn’t teach myself how to be a better self.  He told me reflections can’t suddenly decide to be the source of their own light.  He had a point, and so I gave Him the map.

I started off down the trail that leads out of camp, then, and He asked me where I was going.  I told Him I had given everything up, everything I had, and now it was time to find my way back to our Heart.

He told me the trails had to go, too.

You can imagine my incredulity.  While I was making up my mind, nothing was really happening.  This went on for days, but He just waited while I stalked around camp like one of those bears that’s raised in captivity its whole life, and is uncertain whether or not to move through an open door when it is presented.

Finally, I agreed.

I thought when I gave up the trails I had made that the trees would fill right in or something, and turn the whole place into an impenetrable thicket, but instead the forest just opened up, like the whole thing was a garden.  The trees were suddenly limbed-up, and flowers had burst into color where patches of light  shone down through gaps in the canopy, and a person could walk just about anywhere with ease.  I was astonished!

* * * * *

I started off again, nearly trotting along so filled was I with joy and anticipation, when He stopped me once more.  He looked right into me, and then He pointed to the forest, and He told me I couldn’t cross that distance.  I turned to look at it, and I saw the most beautiful forest I had ever seen, stretching as far as we could see.  He told me I could walk forever if I wanted, but I would never cross it.  Not by walking across it.  But, He told me, I could give it up.  I could give up that distance without ever crossing it.

I gulped mightily as you may imagine.

I walked around camp for quite some time.  I asked Him to go away for a while and let me think.  I got a deranged look in my eye and I grew a long beard.  I lived on scraps I found that appeared from time to time in camp, and He came periodically to check on me, bringing warm coffee and rolls.  We talked about simple things.  I wore myself down to a nub debating the futility of walking into that forest, in search of our Heart, in search of the only Reality I had ever needed.

On one of His visits I happened to see something in His eyes, something like compassion and like an ocean, and I couldn’t resist any longer.  I wanted to let go of all of it, every last thing I knew about this place and my reason for being in it.  I reached for Him.  His heart enveloped me, and that’s the last thing I remember.

* * * * *

This… here… in the palm of my hand.  This is our Heart.  It can take us anywhere.


  1. You familiar with the thoughts of Nassim Haramein? He is an autodidact who can graph some pretty interesting math to show support in physics for that one heart in singularity. I personally enjoy the numbers, but have yet to develop the ability to proof read the proofs (complex equations have an aura of attempting to read Chinese), but I do enjoy the thinking in conceptualization behind the work. -x.M


    • Maren, I am not familiar with Nassim Haramein. I just checked out his Resonance web-site, and watched the trailer for his new movie. I have to confess I’m both excited and disinterested about this type of thing- excited on the one hand, because part of me is always interested in physics and scientific discoveries that peel back a few layers of the onion in which we are immersed; disinterested on the other, because I have come to think/understand that the real changes, truly, come from within. I say that as one who used to think that a revolutionary theory of physics, if realized, could change the world… Not that it can’t- as new knowledge has always shifted our understanding and perception. But will a new theory of physics accomplish that rewiring of unconditional love (to borrow a turn of phrase from yours truly 🙂 ) into the fabric of who we are, into the medium of our responses to the world? I think we agree- probably not. Hitching our wagons to a particular science or another puts the cart before the horse. For some, it may suggest a reality to be explored, but without involving the heart, I don’t think it can spark transformation. I think any and all of these realizations of “how things work” arise as byproducts of a depth-plumbing consciousness- and sometimes they are just flashes, beautiful photo’s, images of realization that remain but the tip of the iceberg.

      One of the interesting suggestions made on Harramein’s web-site is that his discovery will lead to an abundant energy supply. I cannot comment on that, but this is one of those things that I think fuels that notion that there is a theory, a point of physical knowledge, from which all will be changed for the better by technology. We have had, (I think), means of liberating and supplying energy for a long time. But the world hasn’t adopted the collective yoga pose in which such technologies can simply be… We are moving into that heart space, and when we arrive- e.g. grow into our latent potentials as human expressions of the divine- I think they will seem trivial perhaps. Beautiful expressions, perhaps, but not lynch-pins in our viability as living beings. Maybe we will have them, maybe we won’t… But we will have each other…!



  2. One walks on water when they are ready, but understanding the mechanics of how this can happen I find inspirational and a bit of mind candy :)… thus a closet interest in science with physics neurology, biology etc., arrives at my table. I have meet Nassim on two different occasions in person. I experience him as with ego present, but in decent check. He passed my smell test of good intent, while I acknowledge at the time (some years ago now) he was still getting his house in order (meaning walking the talk being prevented by some unfinished business told by relationship status with his partner, etc. For me, this is acid test for mastery of living Truth). o

    Ultimately any external technology developed is only a pale imitation of what human potential can be access when love is in the drivers seat. Haramein in this way is good resource for mind exercise. For me he also brought some novel thought on ancient gnostic wisdom and practical application of and implications for a black hole singularity being found in every human heart. Understanding the mechanics of this (as we are physical in being at this time) is an interesting intellectual source point for entering back into awareness in “the unified field”.

    Interesting clip of his thoughts along with Zen teacher called Adyashanti (limited exposure to his take and teachings from Truth) talking about what we touched on related to time travel on another post… found this when I was looking for a little clip of Haramein talking about the heart).

    Another physicist that I really enjoy is Peter Russell (did PhD under Hawking I think so he is in the officially recognized club). You familiar with him? His thoughts on light are illuminating 🙂 for one who comes through the traditional religion of science:

    Another interesting resource heart related is HeartMath. There is so much woo woo stuff out there, but each time I run into this organization, I get a good whiff of touching some Truth:

    Just leaving all here as a little trail of expanding thought for anyone out there reading who may be interested in a deeper dive.



    • I agree completely with desiring to understand something of the mechanics. I desire that too. Can we help it as human beings? And would we even want to? My previous comment probably stopped short of noting that I share this feeling and that it is an important element in the mix, and in trying to explain it I would say it’s like there’s a minimum understanding of the mechanics that feels important- a minimum understanding of “how things work” that helps the mind get on board with the heart. For me that minimum understanding is different from another’s probably. No matter.

      Some might say they are able to just go completely with the heart, but I think there’s a necessary alchemy in their working as colleagues. This is where I think we have to accept that there is, perhaps, endless mystery for the mind to savor, as there is for the heart. We may learn more about the “physics” of our reality for as long as our consciousness exists. There may be no end to that delicious mirror of Truth, just as there may be no end to the heartfelt outpouring of being.

      This is perhaps the challenge with the mind. Some of its formulations are incorrect. Clearly. Particularly in the absence of the heart, it is prone to misperception and confusion, to putting more responsibility on the back of particular ideas or mechanisms than is really required. The mind comes up with theories that are proven to fail tests of experience and logic. Maybe they contain kernels of something true, and also something extraneous. It is good to weed through them. What is not necessary is the postponing of our acceptance of who we are, until we have all this figured out. I guess, at the end of the day, that is how to arrange the cart and the horse as I see it today!



    • PS – and yes, this wrestling with ideas and kernels of truth and discovering connections in the reality in which we are immersed, is delicious candy!


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